Do you ever find yourself spiraling into hours of binge watching shows failing to be productive and always falling into that turmoil of binge eating despite trying so hard to stick to a diet?
Have you ever tried to figure out what causes it?
What if I tell you that it’s your strict prohibitions on yourself that cause you to over-indulge yourself in the activities you are fighting so hard to restrain yourself from.
Shocking, right? You’d probably be like: what the hell, even?
And that’s right, what the hell, indeed. That’s what this phenomenon has been called by Polivy and Herman, who observed it for the first time.
So, what exactly is “what the hell effect” and what kind of mechanism works behind it? What the hell effect is simply all that cognitive dissonance you experience while indulging in a behaviour, regretting it, but then indulging in it for some more. Why do we do that?
Polivy and Herman discovered that this phenomenon is more abundant in people who strictly restrain themselves from certain behaviours; the overly restrained eaters, or the workaholics who do not even allow themselves a speckle of entertainment.
Of course, the stricter the prohibitions, the more remorse you feel when you break them. Now as you blow off your diet or your cycle of productivity, you tend to tumble down into a loop of self-condemnation, and you need some thing to make yourself feel better. And, in most cases, its often the very thing that made you feel bad in the first place.
So, how to prevent your mind into tricking you in that spiral of self-loathing and consequently over-indulging into the very habits that you are trying to break?
1. Don’t Dump Your Bad Habits Entirely:
Being too strict on yourself will only lead you to collapsing sooner or later, and ever more so devastatingly. Don’t strictly ban your bad habits on you, instead allow yourself the luxury to enjoy them every once in a while, so your brain does not go all red signal when you accidentally indulge in them. Go ahead, have a bar of chocolate, watch an episode of Doctor Who, and tell yourself that it’s okay, you deserve it after months of restrained eating and over-working.
2. Pause, Relax and Think:
So what you indulged in it once, so what you blew off your diet by that chocolate, so what you wasted an hour of your day by watching an episode of your favourite show. You are not completely off the hook yet, the decision to do it or not do it remains in your power. After you have had that one bar of candy and you feel all that guilt and shame hitting you, don’t go back on an eating spree! Remember, what caused you discomfort at the first place will not bring you comfort in the long term. Instead, do something else to make yourself feel better; write down your feelings, meditate, talk to a friend etc.
3. Find an Alternative:
Here’s the deal, our mind magnifies the word “no”, if you tell it that you can NOT do this thing, chances are that you will want to do even more of it. That’s how cravings work, it’s a feedback loop — the more inaccessible it is to you, the more you think about it and the more you want it. So, instead, replace the bad habit with an alternative. Instead of a chocolate, have a granola bar; instead of a season, watch documentaries.
4. Normalise It and Forgive Yourself:
You are not alone in it, many people before you have blown off diets and wasted their days — it’s universal. Instead take it as an opportunity to learn more about yourself, your patterns, needs and habits. One bar of chocolate, one show, one cigarette is hardly a setback if you save yourself from going down that spiral just in time.
5. Make It Up For Yourself:
Chances are, even after all that, you might be inclined to beat yourself up because of it. It’s not easy getting rid of shame and self-talk is still not a 100% effective, so instead, physically do something to make yourself feel better. Maybe an extra 15 minute at the gym or work, anything that makes you feel accomplished to cancel out the guilt.
Remember, that you are always in control of yourself, and set-backs are a part of life, embrace them as such and allow yourself to enjoy the forbidden behaviours every once in a while. Be good to yourselves.
